What “I Love You” Does not Mean
Finally he says he loves you. You are fired up. And you’ll think things will be smooth-sailing from this point on, right?
Mmmm … not so fast. I’m gonna have to break the news to you and it may not be what you want to hear: when guy says he loves you, often times it does not mean anything. He’s just in the moment and being expressive about his feelings which you want, right? He loves you, you’re fun, sexy, beautiful and wonderful and making him happy, but-this this point- it does not mean he wants to marry you or even have a relationship with you!
Yes, so read on … there is more news that will boggle your mind even more about the male psyche.
The Reasons Why He Pulls Away
When he says he loves you he’s telling you the truth. That’s how what he feels at that particular moment. He adores you, he is associated to you and he’s probably feeling in love with you too though it may also be induced with chemical cocktails released during the first stage of courtship. It’s all new and exciting and he’s caught in the moment.
What he does after that declaration is what actually matters. And it ranges from nothing changes to a new level of commitment.
Unfortunately for most women though, that love changes changes everything. It changes the dynamics of relationship and for sure the expectations. More often that not this “L” word messes our heads up. We become so consumed by the thought and act so anxiously that it often switches off a few of his attraction bulbs for us.
So what do you need to do when you hear that? You’ll be feeling good for at least a few days before you become “a new person” to him. Suddenly you act so needy and demanding. You are suspicious and wanting more of his time and attention. You act like a girlfriend even though there is still no discussion about commitment or even exclusivity! You are on an unstoppable highway ride to blissful happily-ever-after without his consent and cooperation.
And you can imagine what will happen next. He pulls away.
Yes a guy can declare his love for you at various points of courtship before or after exclusivity and depending where he is in his life, “I love you” does not necessarily mean he’s ready to be exclusive for you either! Maddening, is not it?
What is a girl to do in such situation?
Remain calm and being who you have always been. Do not change a bit. A way to seduce his mind is by making him think of and wonder about you. You can only do that by maintaining a bit of an aura of being an enigma that will keep him guessing. You can only do this when you have a full life, are in love with life and have mastered the art of self-love.
It’s interesting that when you do not initiate “the talk,” usually men do because they’re so frickin curious: why is not this broad asking me where this is going yet like the rest of them? I have had two men actually did that after my breakup. Before the guy I’m dating told me he loved me, the same night he was fishing where I stood when it came to marriage / relationship. And as I acted as “que sera sera” as he did, he felt safe to blurt that “L” word.
If you have done all the right things and he still pulls away, do not despair or go into the panic mode. There is also another reason why men pull away and it’s nothing to do with his love and attraction for you. A man can in fact be so in love with you but still he dreams the urge to pull away and even leave the relationship. It has everything to do with what’s called the 4 Male Hero Avatar Principles.
If this is what is happening to your relationship now, read this carefully and take all necessary actions to reverse the situation:
What A Man Needs to Commit
A goddess knows how to perform the love jiujitsu: it’s not using force or ultimatums, but a man’s own masculine essence that makes him think that the idea comes from himself to be with you and commit to you.